


'Till Death Do Us Part

by supersoldierskywalker



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Kinda crack fic, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Tony Stark Friendly, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Weddings, cassie is still like 10 btw, read before you pass judgment lol, steve finally gets his turn to rant, this is not actually a stony fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-11 10:32:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19107889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supersoldierskywalker/pseuds/supersoldierskywalker
Summary: Steve and Tony finally decide to tie the knot after defeating Thanos, but there's a major hitch in their plans.





	'Till Death Do Us Part

Today’s the day. It’s the day of Steve and Tony’s wedding.

They’ve spent months planning every detail, arguing over the guest list, tasting cakes. Tony picked Rhodey to be his best man. Sam, Bucky, and Natasha nearly got in a physical fight over who got to be Steve’s best man, but ultimately, he chose Sam. Cassie is their flower girl and their ring bearer. They’ve got their priest.

After everything, after Loki and Ultron and Zemo and Thanos, they’re finally getting married. It’s about damn time.

"Do you, Steven Grant Rogers, take this man Anthony Edward Stark to be your lawfully wedded husband, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, ‘till death do you part?"

Steve looks into Tony’s eyes, shining with unshed tears. He takes a deep breath and smiles. "No."

A collective gasp goes up from the crowd, except for Bucky, who screams, _"HAAAAAAAA!"_

Tony’s mouth presses into a line. "What do you mean, _no?"_

"Let me clarify. I don’t want to be your husband. You’re an arrogant, awful man. Your head is too far up your own ass to let you see your mistakes. Remember when you made Ultron without telling us? Remember when you forced us to sign the Accords, because of a mistake _you_ made? Remember when you blackmailed a fifteen-year-old kid into fighting us? Remember when you arrested our friends and put Wanda in a straightjacket and a shock collar? Or when you revealed Clint’s secret family on camera to Ross? Or how about when you blasted my best friend’s arm off? Or what about that time you defended Ultron to us to prove a point about how terrible I was for not being psychic and knowing that you needed me when you did not call me on the phone that I gave you? Remember all of that? Because I do."

The crowd _oohs_. Natasha is totally livestreaming this.

"You’re a war criminal and a war profiteer. You only shut down your weapons division when you got hurt. Just fuck all the innocent civilians in the Middle East, I guess?"

Steve steps forward to stab an accusing finger at Tony’s chest. His face is hardened, defiant despite everything, and that just infuriates Steve even more. "Face it. You cause your own damn problems. _You_ create so many villains because of your own actions, and you refuse to change. Well, I’m fucking sick of it. I’m not marrying you. I don’t like you. I don’t even respect you."

The room is silent, Steve’s heart hammering in his chest. He takes a few steps back. Tony sputters like a fish for a few moments as he struggles to think of something to hit back with. "Yeah, well…I…um…at least I actually made Thanos bleed!"

"Oh, fuck this," Steve mumbles to himself. And then he steps forward again and punches Tony in the jaw, sending him sprawling to the ground. Knocked the fuck out. Lol.

Steve spins around and takes Sam’s hands, dropping down to one knee in front of him. "Sam Wilson, you have been the love of my life ever since I met you. You’re supportive, you’re funny, you don’t back down from anyone, you’re drop-dead gorgeous. You are literally the most perfect man in the world. Will you marry me?"

Sam’s mouth curves into a smile, trying and failing to blink away his tears. "Yes. _Hell_ yes. I love you, Steve. There’s no one else for me."

He tugs Steve up from the ground and pulls him into a kiss as the crowd cheers.

The priest is still standing there, watching all of this go down. This is the weirdest fucking wedding he’s ever been to. But whatever. He’s getting paid either way.

As they separate, Steve turns to Bucky. "Be my best man?"

"About fucking _time_ you chose the right best man." Bucky grins as he gets up from his seat and stands behind him, clapping his hand on his shoulder. "Great job with Stark, by the way. Perfect form with that punch."

"You still want me to be your best man?" Rhodey asks Sam.

"You know it." Sam crosses the dais to take Tony’s spot and high-fives Rhodey. "No one else I’d rather have."

"Rude," Natasha jokingly calls out from her seat. She holds up her phone. "By the way, I’m still livestreaming, so let’s get on with it, huh?"

***

"Do you, Steven Grant Rogers, take this man Samuel Thomas Wilson to be your lawfully wedded husband, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, ‘till death do you part?"

"I do."

"And do you, Samuel Thomas Wilson—"

" _Yes_. Yes, I do."

The priest blinks and shakes his head a little, but goes on. "And the rings?"

Cassie skips forward, presenting the rings on a satin pillow. As they take the rings from her, she tugs on Steve’s sleeve. "I have to tell you something."

Steve leans down so she can whisper in his ear. "I like Sam better than Tony," she whisper-yells, loud enough for the whole room to hear.

Steve smiles as the crowd chuckles. "So do I, Cassie."

He turns back to Sam and takes his hand, slowly sliding the silver band onto Sam’s ring finger. Sam doesn’t bother to hold back a smile as he slides the other onto Steve’s finger, his hands shaking slightly.

"Then by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss the groom."

Steve takes Sam by the waist and dips him down, kissing him with all the passion he has, Sam’s hands cupped tightly around the back of his neck as he kisses back with equal fervor. He’s vaguely aware of the crowd clapping and cheering, but right now it’s just him and Sam. Sam and him. _Husbands_. Now, and forever. ‘Till death do them part.

**Author's Note:**

> Samsteve rights!
> 
> The other night I had a dream (nightmare) that Steve and Tony got married at the end of Endgame, but that is so extremely cursed that I had to write this instead.


End file.
